


Don't Forget I Still Love You

by deathbysandblk



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, i just didn't mention them, there are a lot of others, this is a memory loss au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 18:29:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2398481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathbysandblk/pseuds/deathbysandblk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray loses his memory and doesn't remember being with Joel or anything about his life in Austin. Will he ever remember or will his memory be lost forever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy! I finally got an AO3 account and now I am posting my stories on here that have already been posted to tumblr. My username over there is waitforiiiiiiiiiiiit so if this looks familiar to you, you've probably seen it there!

The clouds were out on that fateful day. A day that just spelled trouble from the start. Joel felt a sense of dread waking up that morning. Not knowing why, he simply shook it off.Getting to work was a chore for he didn't want to leave his warm bed or wake his slumbering boyfriend who looked so peaceful. But, of course, at some point all good things must come to an end.

"Ray," Joel murmured gently as he shook him.

Ray stirred, but did not wake up.

"Oh, Raaaaay," Joel tried again. Still nothing.

"Ray, don't make me start tickling you again. I will do it."

Ray shot up and with a frighteningly vicious glare on his face said, "If you tickle me this early in the morning, you die."

Joel simply laughed it off and said,

"Well, at least you are awake now. C'mon, we've gotta get to work and if we don't hurry, we won't be able to eat breakfast."

Ray obliged, grudgingly, and got dressed. As soon as they had breakfast, well, Joel ate a muffin and Ray, deciding that was too cake-like, opted for the "going cakeless" route which did not make Joel very happy, they both got into the car and set off for the office. 

"You're going to regret not eating, Ray," said Joel.

Ray shrugged. "Wasn't hungry."

"You should've still had something to eat."

"Drop it, Joel. I said I wasn't hungry! Besides, we always go out to lunch together! I'll eat then!"

Joel got a guilty-looking expression on his face just then and said,

"Actually, I can't go to lunch today. I've got a meeting that I absolutely cannot miss. You understand, right?"

Ray, although disappointed, understood. How could he not? 

"I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Oh, you definitely will!" said Ray in a teasing manner, pretending he was upset. 

"Just go with the lads, unless they're too kissy-kissy for you."

Michael and Gavin had recently gotten together and encounters with them usually ended up not very pleasant on account of they either fought constantly in a playful banter or they wouldn't stop kissing each other. It was hard to say which was worse. 

"Yeah, alright. I'll talk to Michael when I get inside."

"I really am sorry, Ray."

"Joel, it's fine. Really."

Not having lunch with Joel to look forward to, the morning passed slowly. Of course, Ray's job was more enjoyable than most, but at times it could get pretty tedious. People were going to be gone for vacations and such and so they were recording a ton of videos to be able to keep up their schedule. Playing games was fun, as always, but trying to be entertaining for that long could be extremely exhausting. Ray could feel his eyes getting heavy when Michael approached him and asked,

"Ray, you ready to go?"

"Huh? Oh, is it lunch time already?"

"Yeah...man, you were really out of it. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Everything's fine. I just-,"

"Disappointed Joel couldn't make it, huh? I get it, I get it. I'm not your prince charming," Michael joked.

Ray just glared at him and Michael put up his hands in surrender. 

"Sorry, sorry, I won't make anymore comments. Now can we go?"

Ray followed him and Gavin who were in the middle of an argument about gravity, of all things, and he was starting to think maybe dining with those two wasn't such a great idea.  
They pulled into the restaurant and got their food quickly. The topic was finally changed for which Ray was immensely grateful.

"Where's Joel, Ray?" asked Gavin.

"He's in a meeting. He couldn't miss it."

"I wonder what that could be about."

"I don't fucking know," said Michael. "Probably boring stuff that we don't have to deal with, but Joel eats all of that up, doesn't he?"

"If by that you mean Joel enjoys the business and financial aspect of RoosterTeeth then yes...," Ray snapped.

"Man, Ray, what's gotten into you today? You seem edgy."

"Why do you have to criticize Joel all the time? I'm sorry that his interests bore you, but you don't have to be mean about it."

"Look, Ray, I'm sorry. I was just kidding around."

"Yeah, well, sometimes you're not funny."

Ray got up, threw his trash away, and left the restaurant in a rage. Okay, so what Michael said really hadn't been that bad, he was just upset Joel couldn't make it to lunch. It had been a long time since Joel had had to miss a lunch and it was never quite as fun without him. Ray knew he could have a better attitude about it, but he didn't want to turn back. He needed to stand his ground. Maybe then Michael would realize there were some boundaries he shouldn't try to cross. With all of the thoughts swirling around in his head, Ray hadn't been paying any attention to where he was going. He heard Michael scream his name and looked up to find that a car was about to run him over. He panicked and found himself unable to move. Michael ran towards him, shouting all the while, and Ray felt himself being pushed out of the way.He landed with a thud on the sidewalk, his head slamming into the pavement and he lost consciousness.

***

This meeting really wasn't all that important and Joel regretted saying he couldn't go to lunch with Ray. He knew it was too late now and that the lads would be getting back any time, though. His thoughts about Ray were interrupted with a phone call from...Michael?

"I apologize, but I need to take this."

"No problem, Joel!"

Joel stepped out of the office where the meeting was taking place and answered his phone.

"Hello?"

"Joel?" Michael asked frantically.

"Yeah...? Michael, why are you calling me? I'm in a meeting and-,"

"Ray's hurt!"

Joel froze, not believing what he just heard. Trying to remain calm, but internally screaming, he asked,

"What happened?"

"I'll explain when you get here, just please come."

Once he was told the exact location, Joel ran back into the office and hurriedly explained why a hasty retreat was necessary. Of course, the guys let him go without a second thought. As he headed for the restaurant, his mind kept going to terrible places and he would plead that Ray was okay and his injury was only minor. Upon his arrival, he noticed several things. First, Gavin was a mess. He looked terrified and he kept screaming Ray's name. Next, Michael was kneeling beside Ray, shaking and finally, although  
he had dreaded doing so, he looked at Ray and he was shocked. His eyes were closed and his face was pale. There were a couple cuts on his arms, but mostly what Joel noticed was the giant bump on his head.

"What-," Joel started, but closed his eyes, hardly able to get the words out. He tried again. "What the hell happened?"

Michael looked so guilty and started to explain what had happened.

Joel took everything in, feeling furious when Michael explained why Ray had left, but then massively grateful to him when he told him he had pushed Ray out of the car's path.

"I called an ambulance and they are on the way. I'm so sorry, Joel. I feel terrible. Just terrible."

"Michael, you're lucky that I'm more concerned for Ray's well-being right now or I would kick your ass, but-," he sighed. "Thank you for getting him out of the way. At least, this way, he's still alive."

Shortly after, the ambulance arrived and Joel rode along to the hospital. Michael and Gavin returned to the office to explain what had happened to the rest of the company. There were so many thoughts in Joel's head, all of which had to do with Ray. Would he be okay? It hurt to think otherwise. All he could do now was wait and see.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joel sees Ray and has a hard time dealing with his current state.

Nurses and doctors everywhere were rushing about, talking to patients or each other about patients, and it was all too much for Joel to handle. He felt light-headed and faint and so because of this, he sat in a nearby chair in the waiting room. Quickly enough, he discovered he couldn't sit still and so he got up abruptly and started pacing, his head in a whirl. Ray would be okay, right? He had to be. He had simply hit his head, maybe he just had a concussion? Those thoughts were probably too hopeful, but he would think of anything good to prevent the dark thoughts from taking over. 

After about an hour, he was about to lose it. He had still heard nothing from any doctor nor nurse and it was driving him crazy. He approached the front desk and asked in a worried, panicky tone,

"Do you know anything about a Ray Narvaez, Jr. yet?"

The receptionist looked at him sympathetically and said,

"No, sir, they are still observing him and running tests. The soonest I know something, I will tell you."

Joel nodded, not wanting to accept that answer, but knowing he had to and returned to pacing. 

Minutes later, Michael, Gavin, Geoff, Jack, and Ryan burst into the hospital.

"Where is he?" demanded Geoff.

"Is he okay?" asked Ryan.

They all froze and immediately stopped talking upon seeing Joel. He was sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth, murmuring to himself.

Jack leaned down next to him and asked,

"Are you alright, Joel?"

Joel squeezed his eyes shut, a somber look on his face.

"I will only be okay when I know that Ray is okay."

Michael grabbed his hand and pulled him up. 

"I'm sure he will be, Joel."

There was silence then as the five took seats in the waiting area and somehow coerced Joel into taking a seat as well.

"Have you eaten, Joel?"

"No. I'm not going to be able to eat until I hear something."

"Joel, please eat something!"

Joel cringed as he remembered the conversation he had had with Ray that morning, trying to get him to eat some breakfast. Why hadn't he gotten out of the meeting? If he had been with Ray, this never would've happened because Ray never would've gotten angry and stormed off. It wasn't like Joel deliberately went out of his way to annoy people like Michael did at times. He knew he was probably being too harsh on Michael, he knew Michael felt terribly, but he was distraught and very afraid.

"Sir?" said a familiar voice. Joel looked up and it was the receptionist he had spoken to earlier.

If Joel had felt fear before, it was nothing like the fear and the feeling of doom that surrounded him at this moment. 

"Y-yes?" 

"They're letting people see Mr. Narvaez now, but he is still unconscious."

The guys had to practically hold Joel down to prevent him from running towards Ray's room. Geoff thanked the woman and they all headed toward the room Ray had been put in.

Walking into the room, Joel lost it. He didn't like seeing Ray look like this: so weak and vulnerable, his head wrapped up in a bandage and his cuts still visible on his arms. He threw himself to the floor and broke down crying, something he had prevented himself from doing up to this point. After all, what good would crying do? Crying couldn't undo this. It couldn't prevent Ray from having gone with Michael and Gavin to lunch. It couldn't keep Joel from stupidly going to that meeting instead of being with Ray like he should've been. Joel hardly ever cried because he didn't like the feeling of weakness it brought over him. If he let people see him cry, they would know that he felt. But at this point, he didn't care. He felt so many things: fear, agony, regret, guilt upon seeing the love of his life lying in a hospital bed, not awake and moving, not cheerful or making some silly joke. Heck, he'd even take Ray's yell of "YOLO" over this heartwrenching silence. Being asleep, one is supposed to be at peace, but Ray didn't look peaceful. 

The rest of that night, the guys tried to keep the mood light and to get Joel to smile, but nothing worked. There would be nothing that could convince him everything would be alright. The only thing that could do that was seeing Ray open his eyes and talk to him once again.

Eventually, they were asked to leave and Geoff had to apologize for Joel's behavior when he heard that statement. He did not want to leave. Why should he have to? His best friend, his true love, was lying in that bed and he had no idea of whether or not he would be okay. The nurse reassured him that they would look after Ray and take good care of him. She said they would notify him if he woke up.

If. That one word haunted Joel the rest of that night. The guys brought him back to his and Ray's apartment. It just wasn't the same without Ray. It was lonely, dismal, and Joel only kicked himself more for not being with Ray. If he had just skipped the meeting, Ray would be here right now and they would be talking or playing video games or making out until one of them got too tired to continue. If he had been with Ray, Ray would be here, safe in his arms, and not lying alone in a hospital room unconscious.

If. Would Ray wake again? Joel hoped and wished and prayed he would. He couldn't stand the thought of not waking up next to him anymore. He couldn't stand the thought of walking into the Achievement Hunter office and Ray being nowhere in sight. 

He knew he was only depressing and worrying himself with these thoughts, but he couldn't help it. His mind always drifted to the pessimistic viewpoint of things. Finally, thankfully, he was able to fall asleep, although thinking back on it the next morning, it wasn't actually a good thing. His dreams were dark, darker than even the darkest thoughts his mind had dared to venture into. He awoke the next morning drenched in his own sweat with tears pouring down his face. He was only drawn out of his thoughts when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Joel, how are you holding up?" It was Geoff. Geoff had always been in the habit of checking up on his friends and it was part of what made him such a great one. 

"I, uh, well, honestly, Geoff. I'm not doing so well."

Geoff didn't answer right away and then he said,

"Just try to think positively, Joel. I know it may seem hard, but you've got to have some hope. Keep your chin up, buddy."

"Thanks, Geoff. See you soon."

"Oh, you're coming in today? We all just assumed you'd-,"

"I've got to keep my mind occupied in some way, Geoff. Because if I'm left to my thoughts, things aren't pretty."

"Alright then. See you!"

Keeping true to his word, Joel got out of his bed and took a shower. He grabbed whatever shirt was first in his drawer and put it on. Once he was ready to go, he grabbed his keys and whispered,

"Please be okay, Ray. Please." as he left the house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Achievement Hunters try to distract Joel, but it doesn't work all that well. Ray wakes up and Joel is met with an unpleasant surprise.

Joel was restless at work. Why did he ever think he wouldn't have been? He would begin to work on something, stop, worry about Ray, scold himself for worrying about Ray, and return to his work, only to have the process occur again five minutes later. He felt bad for coming in to work knowing he wouldn't really be able to focus, but no one said anything about it to him. He was relieved honestly. He needed to be away from his apartment that was full of memories with Ray, which could only serve to make him worry more. 

The end of the day arrived and Joel didn't know yet if that was a good or bad thing. He should have been happy that he would no longer have to force himself to try to care about anything other than Ray, but he was not. Soon, he would be alone again and he wasn't sure he could handle that. 

There was a soft knock on his door, pulling him out of his fretfulness.

"Come in," he said.

The door opened and revealed...Gavin?

"Hey, Joel, the guys and I were wondering if you would want to come get bevs with us tonight?"

Joel knew what they were doing. Oh, he knew perfectly well, and he couldn't bring himself to care. Their plan was to get alcohol in his system, to maybe drown out all the worries, fears, and obsessing about Ray that had been toying with his mind ever since he had heard what had happened. Joel knew he shouldn't do it, he knew it was a terrible idea, so why did he find himself opening his mouth and saying,

"Sure. I'd like that."

Joel finished up his feeble attempt at work for the day and met with the Achievement Hunter guys in the front to decide where to go. Once they had determined a time and place, they split up, calling out their temporary farewells. 

He was alone again. Driving home, he thought of the dangerous impact consumption of alcohol could have on him. For some people, alcohol was their escape, but for Joel, alcohol was what made his true thoughts shine forth and that honestly terrified him. Alcohol didn't cover up his pain or drown it out, it intensified it, so much so that his sorrow, or whatever other emotion he felt, consumed him. He had no idea what he would say to the guys, but he had already agreed to go and he couldn't back out now.

The guys were already well into drinking when Joel arrived. They handed him a drink and without a second thought, Joel downed it.

Joel liked alcohol, he really did. It wasn't that he liked being drunk, per se, but he liked the feeling of freedom, the feeling that he could do anything that came with it. Of course,it had it's downsides, but Joel had already disregarded those, instead choosing social interaction and temporary distraction. 

Yeah, it had been a bad idea. Hours later, Joel, too drunk to stand up properly, was pouring his heart and soul out to a very alarmed Michael who had stopped drinking shortly after he had started. 

"What if he's not okay, Michael?" asked Joel, sobbing and slurring his words, making it extremely difficult to understand him. "What if the last thing I talked to him about was the fact that he wasn't going to eat breakfast? What if the last time I said 'I love you' to him was the last?"

"Joel, you've gotta stop doing this to yourself! Stop thinking such negative thoughts! Of course, you're worried. It makes sense, but you've gotta have some hope."

Joel nodded, his sobbing quieting down to a meer whimper. 

"Thanks, Michael. I'll try."

"Now, let's get you home."

***

Joel cursed his unwise decision of drinking the next morning, but mostly he cursed whomever was on the other end of the call that woke him up and antagonized his massive hangover. 

"Hello?" he asked sharply.

"Joel Heyman?"

"Yes, this is he. Who is calling?"

"I am from Sacred Heart Hospital and I am calling to inform you that a Mr. Narvaez is awake!"

Suddenly, instead of cursing, Joel wanted to kiss the person on the other end. Well, actually he'd rather kiss Ray, but the bearer of good news was good enough for now in his eyes. 

"Sir, you need to know that he-," the person started to say, but Joel cut her off. 

"I'm going to come and visit right now. Can we talk then?"

"Of course, sir. See you soon."

Joel was elated. After all of that worrying, Ray was awake, alive, and soon, Joel would get to see him.

He called Geoff and relayed the news. Geoff said he would inform the others and they would all meet him there. He headed for the hospital, practically bouncing off the walls with excitement.

He got to the hospital and was greeted by the rest of the Achievement Hunters. They headed towards Ray's room, remembering where it was from the last time they had visited.

Joel pushed open the door and ran to the side of Ray's bed. He pulled him in for a kiss and said,

"Ray, I'm so glad you're awake!"

"Woah there, Joel. Let's not get over-excited, let him breathe a little," said Geoff.

Joel noticed that Ray looked surprised and a little weirded out by the kiss which confused him. Ray opened his mouth and asked,

"I'm sorry, but who are you?"

Joel felt his world shatter. When he had found out Ray was awake, it was like he was standing on firm ground, but when he said that just now, he felt it slowly crumble beneath his feet.

Joel looked around at the very concerned faces of his friends while Ray said,

"While we're on the subject, who are all of you people? I don't know any of you."

No one said a word. How could they? Their dear friend Ray didn't know who any of them were. The nurse broke the silence and said,

"I tried to tell you. On the phone, but you cut me off. I'm very sorry."

Joel was very upset. Of all the things he had pictured happening, this had never crossed his mind. His boyfriend, his wonderful, funny boyfriend didn't know who he was. Didn't know who anyone was.

"Do you know who you are?" he asked Ray.

"I am Ray Narvaez, Jr. I'm from New York, but they told me I'm not in New York currently, I'm in Austin. How I got here though is a mystery to me."

Joel pondered this, wondering why he remembered his life in New York, but had no recollection of any of his new life in Austin. 

Joel was in a state of disarray internally. He had been so happy moments previous only to have that happiness crash and burn into his current bundle of emotions: anger, sadness, confusion, worry, fear. He would do whatever it took to help Ray remember again. After all, Ray may not remember, but he did, and their love was a thing Joel would fight to maintain.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray and Joel have a heartfelt conversation

Joel had been at the hospital for several hours now. Things had been pretty awkward between him and Ray considering Ray didn't know who he was and Joel had kissed him without knowing that fact. 

Joel didn't quite know what to do. He was feeling extremely conflicted about this sudden turn of events. He wasn't prepared to deal with this. He didn't know how to deal with this. He couldn't shake the feeling of overwhelming disappointment that had come over him when he found out Ray did not remember who he was. He could not, of course, mention this to Ray because it wasn't his fault he couldn't remember. Joel sat, lost in his thoughts, until Ray spoke.

Like Joel, Ray too was lost in his thoughts. Who was this strange man who had practically stayed by his side ever since he had arrived and who had kissed him?

Ray was a bit shaken from the events that had occurred ever since he woke up. First of all, he had no memory of these people that had visited him and he was freaked out by that. He felt lost and confused and he hated this terribly awkward silence that he and this stranger seemed to be drowning in. He decided to ask the first question that popped into his mind.

"So...you kissed me? What was that about?"

Joel was surprised. Up until this point, hardly any words had been exchanged between the two and Joel was a little relieved about that. Ever since discovering Ray had no recollection of who he was, he didn't really know what to say to him.

Joel turned to look at Ray. He looked the same as he had before hitting his head, of course, except his hair was tousled, as if from lack of a wash. His eyes, also, were different. They were empty, as if he was taking in nothing of his surroundings. Joel supposed that made sense. He must be pretty confused to be in a room with a man he didn't recognize and to have woken up and been greeted with several other men whom he also didn't recognize. It was probably too much for him all too soon, but how would Joel have known that?

Joel didn't know how to proceed in this conversation. Would telling him about their relationship help him remember or simply freak him out? He felt it would be a terribly awkward conversation and he didn't really want to face it, but he felt Ray had a right to know. He would tell him.

Joel sighed, running a hand through his hair while thinking about how he could start this conversation.

"Ray, honey," Joel sighed again before resuming speaking. "Before you hit your head, you and I were, well, we were a thing."

"You mean...we dated?" This information shocked Ray. Oh, it all made sense now of why this guy was hanging around so much. He was sure that he just wanted to make sure he was alright, but it was a little weird discovering he was in a relationship with someone he knew next to nothing about. 

"Yes, we were dating." Joel looked down at the ground as he said this, wanting to hide the sadness in his eyes from Ray. It wasn't Ray's fault he didn't remember. Joel found himself cursing the fact he didn't go out to lunch that day once again. He tried to hide all that he was feeling away, to shield all the worry and sadness from Ray's vision, but evidently he did not do a good job of this. He wanted to be strong for Ray because Ray had it a lot worse than he, but he couldn't. His emotions got the better of him and he turned away from Ray. 

One look at his new acquaintance told Ray all he needed to know. Ray didn't know how to feel. He knew that the man was disappointed he didn't remember and that made Ray upset. He hated disappointing people. He wished he could remember if I meant for the man to be happy again. Everything was so confusing. He almost wished he were still unconscious because his brain felt overworked with the vast amount of information it was being fed. Ray felt himself start to break down. 

Joel was surprised and horrified when he saw that Ray started crying.

"Oh, Ray, what's wrong?"

"I can tell that you are really upset with me because I don't remember and I'm so sorry. I wish I did remember. Everything would be okay and you wouldn't have to hurt if I did."

Joel was very annoyed with himself for showing his sadness. This is not what he had meant to happen. He didn't want Ray to feel guilty. There was nothing for him to feel guilty about. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't anyone's, really. Well, except maybe the idiot who wasn't looking where he was going while driving. 

Joel approached Ray, as if to hug him, but thought better of it. Ray hadn't seemed comfortable the last time he had displayed any emotion and he didn't want to make Ray feel uncomfortable again.

"Ray, I'm not upset with you. Of course, I'm not! I, in no way, blame you for this. You can't help the fact you don't remember. Sure, I'm a little upset, but I think of any of us, you have the most right to be upset. You've had a lot of your memory just taken away from you and I can't imagine how frustrating that must be. So, please, don't blame yourself and don't be afraid to be upset: with me, with life in general, whatever helps you to cope."

"Why would I be upset with you? You've done nothing to me, but show kindness ever since you got here. Sure, I was a little surprised when you kissed me, but now that I know why you did so, it makes more sense."

Joel was about to tell him everything about the events of the day of his accident, but before he got a chance, the nurse came in and told him visiting hours were over and that he had to leave.He was about to argue with her, but decided against it. Ray had had what he presumed to be an overwhelming day and he needed his rest.

"Alright. I'll go. See you tomorrow."

"Goodbye, Joel," said the nurse, who was now on a first-name basis with Joel after the amount of times they had talked.

Joel said goodbye to Ray and left.

Ray sat in his hospital bed, mulling over the day's events. He still couldn't believe that that guy, that gorgeous, well-built guy was his boyfriend. He had no clue how that had come to be, but hey, he wasn't arguing. Once the nurse had checked him over to make sure everything was okay, she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Ray simply sat, lost deep in his thoughts.

"Joel," he said out loud. "Joel. Now there's a name I could get used to."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joel is forbidden from coming into work until he takes care of himself and starts to re-form his relationship with Ray.

Joel looked terrible. He knew it, everybody knew it, but day after day, no one said a word about it to him. Time after time, he had been offered a leave from work to handle this situation with Ray, but he had refused. If he didn't have work to go to every day, he would go insane. 

The silence, the avoidance of the situation, all of that changed when Joel fell asleep in a meeting, for the second time in a week.

"Joel, may I talk to you in private?" Matt asked him once he had been shaken awake.

Joel agreed. He had a feeling he knew what this was going to be about.

"Joel, you need to stop being so stubborn! You need to take care of yourself!"

Joel remained silent for a moment and then he slid down the wall and put his head on his knees, trying to keep away the tears that threatened to spill out of his eyes.

"Matt, I just get so worried about him. What if he doesn't ever remember? What if it's weird like this for the rest of our lives? What if, when he gets to know me again, he won't love me anymore?"

Matt knelt down beside Joel and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

"Joel, you shouldn't worry about things you have no control over. But you know what you do have control over? Reconnecting with Ray. Forming that wonderful friendship you two used to have again. Don't worry about whether or not he will love you, focus on letting him get to know you. Of course things are weird right now! He has only just met you, to his knowledge. Now, I want no arguments from you on this. You need to go home, get yourself some rest, and then go see him. I will check up on you and only when you have done what I have asked of you to the best of your ability will you be allowed back in this building. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes," said Joel, getting up. He hugged Matt, who patted him on the back and whispered,

"Thank you."

"Good luck," said Matt.

Joel went home, took a shower, and tried his best to sleep. Finally, he was able to, but it was very fitful, as were all other times he had managed to get some sleep. When he awoke, it was about the time he could see Ray and he left the apartment anxiously, eager, but nervous to heed Matt's advice.

As soon as he entered Ray's room, he was greeted with,

"There you are. I was beginning to think you would never come back. The other day you just admitted something huge and then I don't hear from you for a couple days. You can't just do that to a guy!"

Joel smiled upon hearing those words. They sounded just like something Ray would say and, sure, Ray had said them, but this Ray wouldn't have remembered that that was what old Ray sounded like. He shook the thought aside, beginning to think his thoughts about new vs. old Ray sounded like crazy-talk. 

Joel sat down and said,

"I'm sorry I didn't come back right away. I've just been thinking and..."

"I've been thinking too."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I want to know everything about you, Joel. I know, I just barely met you, but you intrigue me. Obviously, you care for me a lot. I may not remember doing so, but I know I once cared for you a lot.”

Joel didn’t exactly know how to react to these words. He was happy that Ray had said these things, but he thought it more important for Ray to learn or start to remember things about himself and not Joel.

“Let’s not be too hasty, Ray. I don’t want to overwhelm you. Let’s start with the basics. What do you remember?”

“I remember working at GameStop. I had a few friends there. I was actually pretty terrified when I woke up here because I thought I had overslept and was gonna be late for work only to find out that I no longer work there, nor do I live in New York. This has all been crazy. It’s a lot to take in.”

“And that’s why I don’t want to give you too much information right off the bat. You understand, right?”

Ray nodded. “There is something I do want to know though.”

“Of course. What is it?”

“Who were all those people that were here that first day?”

“Those are your friends and fellow employees.”

Ray looked troubled by this information.

“What is it? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, I’m just upset because I don’t know them at all. I’m sure they are upset too because I don’t remember them.”

“Ray, honey, no one is upset with you. We are all upset about what happened to you because you are our friend and we love you, but no one is upset that you can’t remember. No one blames you for that. It’s not your fault.”

“I get the feeling that it is though. I don’t know why.”

The conversation dropped at this point and an awkward silence took its place, both men lost in their thoughts.

“Joel?”

Joel looked up at Ray, who looked hesistant and nervous for some reason, and answered, “Yeah?”

“What happened? People said I was in an accident, but no one ever tells me any details.”

“I’m probably not the best person to ask about what happened, Ray. I wasn’t there,” said Joel sheepishly. 

“But you know what happened, right?”

“Yeah…at least the way Michael told it.”

“Michael? Is he one of our friends?”

“He is your best friend.”

“Besides you?”

“Besides me, of course,” Joel chuckled. 

“I should ask him then! Where can I find him?”

Joel was afraid of what would happen to Ray if he found out what had caused his memory loss. He didn’t want anything to bring more pain or stress upon Ray and he really just wanted to avoid the topic altogether. He felt guilty about it, though. He wasn’t doing a good job of listening to what Ray wanted and that was what he had wanted to do. He wanted to provide Ray with anything and everything he wanted. That was probably not the best way to go about doing things, but that was his strategy. 

“Ray, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why? I want to know what happened to me! I want to know what caused me to not remember any of my life here. Anything about my friends, my job, my boyfriend, hell, I don’t even know where I live!”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt!”

“Joel, look at me! I’m already hurt! I feel like a stranger in my own body, in my own life. I don’t know who I am. People have to tell me! What if I’m not the same Ray you know and love? What if I disappoint you or let you down? What if my friends don’t like me anymore? These are thoughts that go through my head every day. How can anything ever been the same?”

Joel had no idea that Ray had been thinking anything like that. He was very concerned. He approached Ray and this time he didn’t hesistate, he hugged him. 

“Ray, I have made the choice to love you. So what if things aren’t exactly the same? You don’t have to feel guilty if you aren’t exactly the same person you once were. You don’t have to feel pressure to be the same person you once were. Because no matter what, I will love you. Forget everyone else, although they would still love you too, but even if they didn’t, I’m here. I love you.”

Ray leaned into Joel, crying. He didn’t stop for several minutes. When he did, he looked up at Joel and said,

“Thank you. I’m sorry I’m such a mess. Things are just so chaotic for me right now. My mind is striving to take in everything and it’s just so much.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Ray. Everything’s will be alright. You’ll be alright.” We’ll be alright, he thought, but didn’t dare say out loud.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray visits the office.

Joel made an effort to go see Ray every day. Now that he could not go to work, heeding Matt’s orders, he had ample time to talk with Ray and tell him more about himself, and their life together. 

Shortly after the day Ray admitted to wanting to know everything about Joel, Joel received the news that Ray would be able to leave the hospital for good. The nurse had told him that Ray was fine physically, and so she saw no reason for him to have to stay in the hospital. She told Joel to call her if ever he needed anything in regards to Ray or if his memory got better or worse. Joel thanked her for all she had done for him and Ray and then went into Ray’s room. 

“Guess what, Ray?” asked Joel in a casual tone, trying his best to hide just how excited he was at what he was about to announce.

“What?” asked Ray, eager to hear what Joel had to say, having no doubt it would be hysterical. Ray had been pleased to find out that his boyfriend was quite humorous and he mentally patted himself on the back for having such great taste. 

“You get to go home today!” said Joel, breaking out into a huge grin, not able to hide his excitement any longer.

“Are you serious?” asked Ray.

“Am I ever not serious?” asked Joel in a teasing voice. 

Ray simply gave him a look and then said, “So, we can leave now?”

“I’m sure they’ll need you to check out first, but yes, we can leave now, if you want.”

“Of course I want to leave! I’ve been cooped up in this hospital for so long!”

“Alright! Let’s go then!”

Once Ray had been checked out, Joel walked towards his car, with Ray following behind him. Ray looked around at his surroundings, taking in all the sights he had probably seen a thousand times before, but did not remember. It was like it was Ray’s first time visiting Austin. 

“Joel?”

“Yes, Ray?” asked Joel curiously.

“Before we go home, can you-,” Joel noticed Ray seemed nervous to continue his question.

“What is it, Ray?” 

“Can you show me RoosterTeeth?”

In the times Joel had visited Ray at the hospital, the two had spent the great majority of their talks discussing RoosterTeeth. Ray could not get over the fact that he made a living off of playing video games. Joel had told him all about Achievement Hunter and he had tried telling him about all of their friends, but it was probably very confusing for him, seeing as how there were so many of them. 

“Sure! I’m certain they would love to see you, Ray!”

Joel headed in the direction of RoosterTeeth and pulled into a parking spot. He and Ray got out of the car and started heading toward the entrance when who should show up, but Matt. Joel noticed Matt was giving him a look, as if he didn’t see Ray right beside him. 

“Matt, I know you told me not to come into work for a while, but I’m here for a good reason! Ray wanted to come here!”

Matt looked over, finally noticing Ray and then approached him.

“Ray! Good to see you! How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling free! I was let out of the hospital today finally! Now, I’m sorry to do this to you, but who are you again?”

“Oh, I’m Matt Hullum, the CEO of RoosterTeeth!”

“Oh cool! I do know what that is even though I don’t remember a whole lot about it!” Ray laughed, although there was a hint of bitterness to it. 

“Well, go on in, guys! The gang’s all there!” said Matt and Joel and Ray went inside.

The first place Joel wanted Ray to see was the Achievement Hunter office because he was hoping with the guys all there in that setting that it might help spark a memory or two. The door was open, as it quite frequently is, and Joel knocked slightly. Geoff, Jack, Ryan, Gavin, and Michael all turned and looked towards the door. Evidently, they hadn’t been in the middle of recording because it had been pretty quiet when Joel knocked. The volume in the room immediately changed when the guys saw who was at the door. So did the lack of movement.

“Ray?! What are you doing here?” asked Michael as he ran towards Ray to give him a giant hug. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be in the hospital?” asked Gavin, joining Michael. 

“I got out today!” said Ray breathlessly because of how tight he was being hugged. Even though he knew who these two were, it was still rather odd that they were hugging him because he didn’t feel like he knew them!

“Hey, now, lads, give the man some space,” yelled Geoff, who had also gotten out of his seat to join the conversation. Ryan and Jack soon joined them and all the people who were in the room were surrounding Ray. Ray grabbed Joel’s hand. He was a bit nervous to be here with all these really friendly people who knew him, but whom he didn’t really know. 

“Ray, it’s good to see you! I’m sure you’re really relieved to be out of that hospital,” said Geoff. 

“Yes, it’s very nice to be out of there. I wanted to come here because I’ve heard so much about this place and about all of you. It feels a bit weird because I know I should recognize this place and all of you, but the only way I do is because you guys came to see me at the hospital, not because of anything prior to that.” 

“So you don’t remember anything?” asked Gavin, who then winced after Michael elbowed him in the side.

“The last thing I remember is working at GameStop in New York. And Joel told me that I knew Michael back then, but for some reason, I can’t remember that. It’s so odd.”

“Well, cheer up, buddy. I’m sure you’ll have your memory back in no time!” said Geoff. “In the meantime, why don’t you guys join us for lunch? We were about to take our lunch break! Then afterwards, you guys can visit with the other members of this company. I’m sure they’ll all be so pleased to see you’re out of the hospital, Ray!” 

Lunch was delicious and hanging out with the Achievement Hunters, his friends, left him in good spirits, with his side in stitches from just how much he laughed. It was only after lunch that he started to feel extremely overwhelmed. He was re-introduced to person after person, each one of them asking how he was doing or if he remembered anything. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally, and Joel started to notice. 

“Ray, honey, if you’re tired, we can go home. We can always come back another day!”

“Yeah, I think I just need a nap. My head is in a whirl from today. It was fun and everyone is super nice, it’s just a lot to take in.”

“Oh yeah. I’m so sorry. I hadn’t thought about that. Let’s go home right now.”

They said their goodbyes and headed for their apartment, which would be Ray’s first time being in it since the accident. Joel drove into the parking lot and looked over at Ray and discovered that Ray had fallen asleep. He looked so adorable and peaceful while asleep. Joel unclicked his seatbelt and went around to the other side of the car, picking Ray up. Ray stirred for a moment, but then snuggled into Joel’s arms. Joel was almost hesistant to unlock the door because he was afraid to wake Ray, but he managed to get the door open without dropping Ray or waking him up. He carried Ray to their bedroom, tucked him in, and then crawled in beside him. It had been a long, but successful day.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff has a proposal for Joel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Hope you enjoy! Also, Happy Halloween, everyone!

Ray visited the office several more times after his initial release from the hospital. He fooled around with his fellow lads, (he had been informed fairly early on in his visits that was the name given to Gavin, Michael, and himself), giving Joel time to do some work since Matt had let him come back to the office. The Achievement Hunters were thrilled to see that although Ray’s accident had left him without a significant portion of his memory, he still had his phenomenal gaming abilities and still beat the shit out of them in most games they played without even breaking a sweat. Not that they weren’t still upset that Ray could not remember most things revolving around RoosterTeeth, but gaming was how they made their living and the fact that Ray was playing with them again got Geoff thinking. 

When everyone left for lunch, Geoff went to find Joel. He was in his office, staring intently at his computer screen. 

“You know, posture that horrible could cause some serious back issues for you.”

“I’m fine, Geoff. What do you want?”

“Wow. Rude. I’m just trying to help.”

“Well I’m too busy for your “help”. Seriously, tell me what you want or leave.”

“Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Maybe you’re working too hard, Joel. With all that’s going on with Ray, it’s okay if you need to take more time-,”

“I got really behind and I’m trying to catch up, not that I blame Ray for that. Of course I don’t. Ray seems to be doing pretty well hanging out with you guys.”

“Good. I’m glad you agree because that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Joel looked up from his screen. “What?”

“Ray’s been doing so well with us, playing games and hanging out, that I was thinking maybe he could come back to work. We wouldn’t make him do anything too strenuous, but don’t you think getting back into his old routine would be good for him? Maybe help him remember a bit?”

“Absolutely not.”

Geoff looked shocked at Joel’s response. That was the last thing he expected to hear.

“What? Joel, why?”

“Ray just got out of the hospital. He can’t overdo things.”

“Joel, that’s ridiculous! He got out of the hospital weeks ago! I think you should get your head checked, you’re the one who seems to have problems.”

Joel, who had gone back to work in an attempt to avoid the topic, stood up from his chair and approached Geoff, a menacing look on his face.

“Do you think it’s funny to joke like that? Cuz it’s fucking not! You asked for my opinion on whether or not I think Ray should go back to work and I gave it. Why do I have to rationalize my decision? I feel partially responsible for his accident and I will not let anything else happen to him!”

“What would happen to him?”

“I’ve seen some of the videos that get released. You guys do crazy things all the time and I don’t want Ray in the midst of them. Things could get worse and I’m not willing to take that risk. Goodbye, Geoff.” 

Geoff left his office and Joel took a few moments to calm down before starting in on his work again. 

***

Ray was coming in from lunch with Michael and Gavin when Geoff approached him and asked if he could talk to him for a minute. Not knowing what it was about, Ray nervously agreed. 

“How are you feeling, Ray?”

“I feel fine, Geoff. I mean, I still don’t remember things on my own, but you guys have been filling me in and I appreciate that. Hopefully soon it won’t be necessary.”

“I hope so too, Ray. Listen, how would you feel about coming back to work? You’re here all the time anyway, might as well get paid for it, right?”

“I’d be on recordings and stuff?”

“Well, only if you want to be.”

“Hell yeah I want to be. That would be awesome! But I feel like I should talk to Joel about this.”

Geoff cleared his throat and said,

“Umm, Ray, you’re an adult, it’s not like you need his permission.”

“Well, yeah, but he’s my boyfriend and we tell each other everything or at least I feel like we should. Isn’t that what significant others do?”

“Well yes…”

“Plus, he’s my ride. I don’t drive, remember?” Ray laughed. “Funny, now I’m the one asking if people remember things.”

Geoff murmured “Damn.” under his breath and Ray asked,

“What was that?”

“Hmm? Oh nothing. Just talking to myself again.”

“Alright. Well I’m gonna go find Joel and tell him the awesome news!”

Ray knocked on Joel’s door and was told to come in. 

“Joel, I have some excellent news!”

“What is it? Did you remember something?”

“No, but Geoff said I could come back to work!”

“Oh did he now?”

“Yes and-wait, where are you going? Don’t you want to hear about it?”

“I will in a while, hun,” he said as he gave Ray a kiss on the forehead. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

Joel found Geoff in the Achievement Hunter office with Jack and Michael.

“Geoff, a word?”

Geoff made no immediate movements and Joel said in a harsh, loud tone,

“NOW.”

“Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of Michael and Jack,” said Geoff innocently with even a bit of what sounded like timidity in his voice. 

Joel turned to Jack and Michael and said,

“I’m very sorry, but things might get a little ugly in here and I know you are trying to work, so may I offer you my office to complete your work in?”

Jack and Michael stood immediately and left the room, closing the door behind them.

“Geoff, did you all of a sudden lose hearing?”

“No.”

“No? Hmm that’s odd. Well there must be some other logical explanation for what Ray just told me then. Because you wouldn’t have just gone behind my back and done the very thing I told you not to do, would you have?”

“Joel, you’re being ridiculous. He’s so excited!”

“But I told you I didn’t think he should be working!”

“And I told you that’s he ready to work!”

“But that’s not your decision to make!”

“So it’s yours? Ray can make decisions for himself, you know. He lost some of his memory, not his ability to think and choose.”

“I cannot believe that you would- wait scratch that. Actually I can believe that you would do this. The very act of betrayal screams Geoff Ramsey.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that when you get an idea in your head, it doesn’t matter what anyone says to you, you are going to do everything you can to make it happen. Most times that’s a good thing. This time, not so much!”

“What crime have I committed, Joel? Where does it say that I, as the boss, cannot approach Ray and ask him if he wants to start working again?”

“My office, less than an hour ago! You know what? Screw this conversation! You just don’t get it! Fine, whatever, he can work. Just don’t ask for my opinion if you are planning to completely disregard it anyway.”

Joel opened the door and found Ray standing right in front of him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray's reaction to Geoff and Joel's fight from Ch. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter so soon? It must be a miracle! Haha, just kidding. I'm just inspired right now so enjoy!

“Ray, I didn’t know you were out there.”

“And that makes it better? If you had known I was out here, you wouldn’t have said what you did?”

“Ray-,”

“No, Joel. We can talk about this at home later. You know, in private? Or has the meaning of the word been completely lost on you?”

Without another word, Ray walked away.

Great. Just great. This day keeps getting better and better. 

He tried to get his work done. He tried to think about anything other than the furious look on Ray’s face, but he wasn’t very successful. He was in desperate need of a distraction because he was going crazy worrying about what would happen when he got home. He couldn’t remember a time he had seen Ray so angry. Ray was generally a pretty easygoing, laid-back guy. He had really screwed up this time. 

Time went by, as it tends to do in circumstances where someone is dreading an inevitable event, and Joel made his way to his car. He drove as slowly as was legal and when he reached the apartment and parked the car, he sat for a moment, taking a deep breath. Seeing no further way to delay the confrontation he was sure was coming, he exited his car and knocked on the door.

Ray opened the door and looked confused for a moment before coldly saying,

“You know, for better or worse, this is your apartment too. You don’t have to knock to enter it.”

“I just thought I was being considerate. I see now I wasn’t. I apologize.”

“Right,” said Ray heading towards the living room to sit on the couch.

“Ray, I-,”

“Don’t. I have some things I would like to say first.”

“Okay,” said Joel, taking a seat in a chair opposite of the couch.

“Maybe old me would have loved you being all protective and shit, but this me doesn’t like it, especially in this case. I have lost a part of my memory, sure, but that doesn’t automatically render me incapable of working. And I don’t understand what makes you think that you can go around telling Geoff and probably everyone else what I can and can’t do now that I’m out of the hospital. If I had had my way, I would have been out the first day. Scratch that, if I had had my way, I never would have had to go. I would still remember everything about my life, and this little chat we are having would be absolutely unnecessary. But we don’t have control over what happens to us sometimes, Joel. Yes, I got hurt and am now dealing with the outcome of that injury, but don’t add insult by stepping in and making all of my decisions for me. I’m perfectly capable and content to do that for myself. I think it’s best if I stay with Michael for a little while. See you at work tomorrow.”

Joel hadn’t noticed it, having been focused on what Ray was saying, but Ray had a suitcase with him that he now grabbed and walked out the door. Joel was shocked. He hadn’t been able to say anything and he had so much he wanted to say. He had been wrong, he had made a mistake. He knew that now. He was even willing to admit it to Ray, except Ray didn’t give him the opportunity. 

He needed a beer. Maybe it would look pathetic for him to go to a bar on a weekday night, but he didn’t care. 

While he drank, he thought about what happened. Why had Ray left? Things could’ve been fixed if he had just been given a chance. He hadn’t meant to be controlling, he just worried about Ray so much. There had been a time where he had thought nothing bad could happen to Ray and then what happens? He gets a call from a frantic-sounding Michael saying that Ray has been hurt. Ever since that call and the day he found out Ray didn’t remember certain aspects of his life, he had been doing everything in his power to keep Ray safe. Admittedly, he went too far with it and he wished he could take it back, but there wasn’t really anything he could do except wallow. 

He knew he shouldn’t call Ray. It was probably far too soon for that, but before he could stop himself, his fingers had dialed the number and pressed the call button. He was surprised when someone picked up, but was a bit disappointed when it wasn’t Ray. It apparently wasn’t hurtful enough to just not pick up the phone, instead he got Joel’s hopes up thinking he picked up when really it was just Michael. 

“What do you want, Joel?”

“I want to talk to Ray.”

“Well he doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“I know what I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have gone about it the way I did. I just want to keep him safe.”

“Joel, what’s more safe than working for Geoff? You know he is like a father to us. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to Ray.”

“But you would.”

“Joel, not this again, for fuck’s sake. You know that I feel awful for how things happened.”

“I bet if he knew what exactly happened to him he wouldn’t be staying with you right now.”

“I will tell him when he asks. I’m not gonna purposefully hide the truth from him. I don’t want to hurt him. You’ve already accomplished that. I know that you think that because you are Ray’s boyfriend you have to be involved in every aspect of his life, but you don’t. Every person needs some space for themselves and for the other people in their life. Just give him this time, okay? He’ll come back. He’s never been happier than he is when he’s with you. Even post-accident.”

“Okay, Michael. I’m sorry that I keep blaming you for what happened. You’re a good friend to him.”

“I forgive you. I’m sorry that things are rough between you two, but I’ll have you know he’s in good hands with me and he’s safe, I promise.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, I’m gonna call a cab for you because I know that you are wrecked. Get some sleep, Heyman.”

“I will.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of a night of drinking + exciting news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :D

Joel awoke to a pounding head and an empty space beside him both of which made him feel awful. He was half-tempted to call in sick to work, but he realized that most people would realize the real reason for him not going. Besides, he did not want to give Ray the satisfaction. If he wanted things to be this way, fine, he’d play along. He could think of it as if it were another acting gig. 

The entire day he kept his eyes out for Ray, but he was nowhere to be found. Obviously, he was still avoiding Joel, but Joel didn’t think he’d be so damn good at it. He probably had help. Michael probably kept an eye out for him so he could be successful in his attempts to not run into Joel. 

When it was lunch time, Joel headed into the Achievement Hunter office. Without giving him a second glance, Geoff said coldly, 

“If you’re looking for Ray, he’s not here. Even if he was, he wouldn’t want to see you.”

“I know. I’m actually here to see you.”

“Oh. Well don’t I just feel special? Considering the last time we had a nice chat you yelled at me, I’m not too keen on the idea.”

“Geoff, please. I really would like to talk to you.”

“Fine, but make it quick. I have stuff to do.”

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean to go berzerk on you.”

Geoff’s face softened. “I know you didn’t, buddy. You just got the concerned, overbearing, and over-protective stance about you and forgot everything else. I know that you really meant well and I’m sure Ray will come around and figure that out too. He just needs time.”

“That’s what Michael said too.”

“Well, see? We are all rooting for this to work out. You two are great for each other.”

“Thanks, Geoff.”

“No problem.”

Joel was about to leave when Geoff spoke up.

“Oh and Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“Relax. I know things are hard for you right now, but just think about how hard they are for Ray and how incredibly frustrating that must be to know that you should remember certain things, but you just can’t.”

Joel nodded and went back to work. His talk with Geoff had certainly put him more at ease. Now if only Ray would talk to him…

Ray’s POV:

It had been about a week since the fight with Joel. He wasn’t really angry anymore. He was more annoyed than anything and not even with Joel. He was just annoyed in general. Physically, he felt fine. He imagined he looked just like Ray, but he didn’t feel like Ray because as silly as it may sound, he knew a major part of him was missing. Several weeks had gone by since he had been able to leave the hospital and there hadn’t been so much as a hint of remembrance of the missing memories.

Michael had been a gracious host, but he knew he was approaching the point where he would be overstaying his welcome and he really didn’t want to do that. He made the decision to discuss making up with Joel with Michael one night and Michael seemed optimistic that things would go well.

“Do you think he hates me?”

“Ray, of course not! He doesn’t hate you. How could he?”

“Well I was a jerk to him. I just left.”

“You were angry. You needed some time to cool down. I’m sure he understands.”

“He’s so patient with me. I don’t get it.”

“He loves you. He has for a long time.”

“He shouldn’t.”

“Ray! Don’t say that! Why do you think that?”

“I’m so temperamental and flighty. I get angry about the littlest thing and then cause a big fight. Like there was this one time that I wanted to throw him a surprise party, but he found out somehow and told me he didn’t want his birthday being turned into this big deal and I got upset because I had put so much work into that party. We fought. On his birthday too. I remember feeling so awful, but it didn’t last this long-,”

“Ray,” said Michael excitedly.

“I’m just worried you know. I mean, he’s the love of my life. I don’t want him to get sick of me-,”

“Ray!”

“I don’t know what I would do without him-,”

“RAY!”

“Geez, Michael. You scared me. What do you want?”

“Did you just hear yourself?”

“What are you talking about, man?”

“You just talked about something that happened a couple years ago. You said ‘I remember’”

“Oh my gosh, you’re right! I remembered something!”

“Do you remember anything else?”

Ray closed his eyes and racked his brain, trying to come up with something, anything else, that he could share with Michael, but he came up blank.

“That’s okay! You still remembered something!!! You have to tell Joel.”

Michael took Ray to Joel’s house and said,

“Everything will be okay, Ray. Now, go on in!”

Ray knocked on the door. Shortly after, Joel opened the door. With a half-smile on his face, he said,

“Ray!”

“Hey, Joel. May I come in?”

“Of course.”

“I’m sorry about everything. I’ve just been so upset lately and a lot of that came out in my argument with you. Sure, I was mad at some things you said, but after a while I realized it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“It was a big deal. I should be more respectful of you. I should have realized that I was being too protective of you. I’m sorry I did that. My worry gets the better of me sometimes.”

Ray kissed Joel and then said,

“I’ve got some news for you.”


End file.
